emilee

Lately

2011-05-15T19:02:00.013-05:00

Lately...as in the last year. Yeah, it is official- i am at the bottom of all of my friend's blog rolls. So, here is a photo update of the last several months (be prepared to see many pictures of me making the exact same face, it seems to be my signature look)
We finally went on our honeymoon, a year late, so i guess it was more of a anniversary trip. We went on a 7-day cruise to the Caribbean. The ship departed from New Orleans, so we spent half a day exploring the town. I emphasize day, i don't think i would ever go at night. Then we headed out on the open ocean. The first day was just spent getting through the gulf. We explored the ship and went to the lamest magician ever and ate some food. The next day was my favorite. Our port of call was Costa Maya, Mexico. We decided to travel about thirty miles out of town and see some recently excavated Mayan ruins, Chacchoben. They were very fascinating.

we had to climb a stairway up to the temple. "Julian, take a picture of me working so hard." "You're on the bottom step, Emilee!"

the temple at sunset (don't mind my shiny face and crazy hair-it was crazy humid)

Our next port of call was Belize City, Belize. We don't have any pictures. Yeah, epic fail. But...we have memories. we went tubing down a river that happened to be underground in a cave. When we finally emerged from the cave and my body was kissed by the tropical sun, Julian exclaims, "Oh my gosh, your legs are soooo white!" Seriously? We have been married for a year!

The next port of call was Roatan, Honduras. So fun! We went to the beach and got rained out so we went to an iguana farm.

they actually would let you pet them

yeah, it was beautiful there! (again, ignore my hair)

The last port of call was Cozumel, Mexico. We walked around the port during the morning and then went snorkeling in the afternoon.

my husband has a cute nose- so long and straight
this guy's butt was eating his pants AND shirt! I had to take a picture

The next week, my sister got married. Weddings are way more fun when it is not your own.

my dad, me and rachel (the bride)

me and little baby Hunter (my nephew)

Also, as of late I have started running- we did our first 5K Easter weekend and have another planned in a few weeks.

After the race (again, please ignore my disgusting hair)

And of course, what would a post be without a little kitty-love?

A day at the zoo

2010-07-03T14:22:00.012-05:00

A few weeks ago Julian and I spent the weekend up in Houston. We spent the morning at the temple and then went to World Market and finished up our adventures at the Houston Zoo. It was blazing hot, but we managed to make to all the animals and take a few pictures.In honor of Independence Day...

you would not believe the smell in that bubble-it was gross!

yay! i'm a llama again

i am just as white as the goat! bleet!
the lion sleeps tonight

i really suck at taking pictures. Julian's camera is really complicated. Also, he looks very sexy and responsible with his cell phone holster AT THE ZOO!!!! BAAA

The very next weekend in Yoakum, Texas there was a festival that featured white tigers, including two babies. Here is a conversation from that afternoon:
me: Julian, I know you love me because you took me to see the baby white tigers
Julian: yep, I know you love me because you are letting us go to a chinese buffet after

That is true love, folks

This is the daddy tiger getting ready to eat chicken

yum yum yummmmmm
mommy and the babies!

so close, yet not close enough and yeah I know, never wear a white shirt again-it scares young children.

Wrong side of the bed

2010-05-18T11:21:00.002-05:00

"Ugh"
"What was that for, Miss?"
"Oh, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...literally." (I can't believe I actually got to use that line at school) Yeah, this morning around three I woke up suddenly and I was hecka checka disoriented and I realized that I had my head at the bottom of the bed. Yes, once I realized where I was it was instantly okay because I had two grey fuzz balls to bury my face in for comfort, but for those few seconds it was quite unsettling. The real question is, how the "h" did I get down there? sure, it has happened before, but when you share a bed with someone else the whole picture changes.

My honest guess-I have been known to sleepwalk. I partially woke up and got out of bed and saw that the cats were at the bottom and wanted to pet and love them, so I got back in upside down...i do love my kitties. But waking up on the wrong side of the bed really does throw off your morning, I couldn't find my keys even though they were exactly where I normally put them and I can't seem to keep anything straight.

Best day EVER

2010-04-12T11:51:00.003-05:00

Saturday morning my dear husband took me to the zoo. Now you must know that the Victoria Zoo sort of sucks in comparison to any other zoo in the world, until two weeks ago. Yes, on March 26 the zoo got two baby lions, only six weeks old from the San Antonio Zoo to replace the jaguars that died in the last year from old age. I obvioulsy wanted to go the next day but we had the reception in Edinburg, so it had to wait.

Oh my goodness, it was like a dream come true. They were snuggling in a corner for their afternoon nap, but when some other animals went baserk they came out to see what the comotion was. Julian wanted to move on to the alligators and baboons, but i really could have stayed there all day.

picture from the newspaper

The rest of the day was great too. I love being married.

In the morning

2010-03-19T04:05:00.002-05:00

Well, really in 34 hours, but technically it is only one day from the day that I tie the knot. It is 2:00 am and i can't sleep. Most definitely not cold feet, but the mental list was too much. I had to get up and write some things down in hopes that i could get back to sleep. well here i am a bowl of chocolate brownie icecream later. so, here are some of my thoughts...

*yesterday, I got to go to the temple with three of my aunts, my parents, my sweet julian and his parents. there is nothing quite like that. I have never seen my family look so beautiful and i can't wait until my youngest sister gets married and we can all be in the temple together. It is where we are suppose to be.

*I am so grateful for the support that my family and friends have given me. all of my aunts and uncles will be at the wedding and most of my dearest friends will be there. I couldn't ask for more.

*I am sick and i want to feel better...i think i am starting to, but i am pretty sure i will still have the scratchy man voice on saturday-nice! "oh, emilee. you look so pretty." "thanks (insert smokers cough)" yeah, really attractive.

*Julian's mom wants us to do the garter toss at the valley reception...still thinking about that one

Today is going to be fun, we are arranging the flowers, all my friends are coming in and we are going to party tonight...hopefully i can get some more sleep.

TWELVE

2010-03-08T11:12:00.003-06:00

12 days of Christmas...

12 eggs in a carton...

12 items in a dozen...

12 months in a year...

12 protons in magnesium...

12 apostles...

12 days until I get married...

It has finally happened

2010-02-17T17:05:00.002-06:00

I new this day would one day come. One of my students has requested my friendship on facebook. what am i supposed to do? What about all those pictures of me as a spice girl in college? or making out with my boyfriend? I need advice

Coming your way!

2010-02-11T17:26:00.004-06:00

The invitations are on their way! While I was putting stamps on all of them I was over come with paranoid anxiety that I put the wrong reception cards in the invitations. So, if you feel like you got the wrong one (ie you live in utah which is closest to nevada, but you got a card inviting you to a reception in edinburg, tx) just let me know.

I decided that I wanted fabric backed invitations and of course the only to get those is to make them, so here is a picture of Julian during the process. The spray adhesive bothered him so he wore a surgical mask with a smiley face on it that I used for singing time.

PS only 37 more days!!!!

TMI

2010-01-14T11:43:00.003-06:00

This week we are taking first semester finals.

"Ms. Haines, before we start I have to tell you that I am wearing your underwear."

He meant to say that he was wearing Hanes brand underwear, but it came out completely wrong. It is moments like that that I love my job and am grateful there wasn't an administrator in my class observing.

The Dress

2010-01-02T12:06:00.004-06:00

Over christmas my mom, natalie and i piled in the car and drove to utah for 36 hours. the original intent was to go shopping for a wedding dress, but as i started to look at my options online i didn't find any that matched what i really had in mind. Of course, last october when my dearest friend sophia edwards got married and i saw her dress i loved hers and because life is the way it is i couldn't buy one like hers because her mother made it. Well, i decided to ask sister edwards to make me a dress like sophia's and she said yes!!! so, instead of driving to utah to buy a dress we went to get measured and pick out fabric. Here is a picture of Sophia in her dress, mine will be pretty much exactly the same, except a bow in the back and a slightly different lace (and much less statuesque, when i tried sophia's dress on it looked like there was a train in the front too)

Here is a close up of my lace over the dress material:

Engaged!

2009-12-23T15:35:00.003-06:00

I am pretty sure everyone who reads this knows the big news-I am engaged! I am so excited, i could die. I will obviously use this blog as a way to bounce ideas off of you guys. So, hopefully my posting frequency will increase. For my first wedding related post I will include a picture of the ring. It is a halo set solitaire with small diamonds on the band and then there are two wedding bands that go on either side of the engagement ring. When we started getting serious Julian asked me what i wanted and all i told him is that i would like something low profile and i really like halo settings. since he had no clue what any of that meant he turned to my little sister for guidance, but still emailed me pictures of a few rings just to get an idea what i liked and to see if he was on the right track and there were a few of those that i really liked, but of course he wouldn't tell me what he got. I didn't know that he got this one, but this is the one that made my heart jump. I love it. this is the ring with the two bands- sorry it is not very clear, it is a cell phone pic...in my bathroom

I didn't sign up for this

2009-11-24T18:33:00.004-06:00

Yesterday evening I bought my first pregnancy test.

Before you jump to conclusions about my morality and "skanky ho" factor let's rewind to yesterday afternoon, approx 2pm. It was seventh period and I was pacing up and down each aisle of desks helping the students with their assignment. I am pretty sure that i said, "The number of neutrons is the mass number minus the atomic number" at least 325 times this week, but i digress. As i was helping one student, we will call her Felicia she said, "Miss, can I talk to you about something?" So, after class she came behind my desk with me and tears immediately began to fill her eyes as she told me that her period was four days late. I asked her if she had talked to the counselors or her mom yet. She doesn't live at home and I "am the only adult she trusts." She then asked me if I would get her a pregnancy test and of course I said yes.

So, last night after FHE I told Julian that i needed to go and take care of something for a student. When I told him what was going on he said, okay then, let's go.... so julian and I stood in front of a row of pregnancy test trying to figure out which one to buy, decided that the digital one would be best and picked up some tampons on the way to the self check out (for me of course, seems a little ironic in retrospect.)

Things I learned:

*i am insanely grateful for the choices that i have made and that i will never have to wait those agonizing three minutes

*i am grateful that i can be there for at least one of my students

*i love julian ray cavazos...big time! and for that, here is a picture of us at the ward trunk-o-treat with ava (she was a mouse) julian was himself....i mean a nerd

We're tryin' it again

2009-11-04T17:34:00.002-06:00

Time after time i have read articles in magazines and online telling me to stop washing my hair everyday and i just can't manage to bring myself to do it for more than a week(washing every other day.) I am not really sure why i have such i hard time with it, but i suspect is has to do with the fact that in middle school my mother had to tell me to shower on a regular basis and i once i moved passed that phase i never even wanted to toe the line. However, recently my hair has gotten very dry for some unknown reason. I straighten it no more often and i haven't taken to chemical treatments or blow drying. Of course this problem led me to the internet and google has once again told me to stop washing my hair. So, here i am on the first day of not washing and i want to freak out, and yes i showered and rinsed my hair like they suggest-it is still gross.

Here is to a new adventure, we'll see how long i can do it for. i think i am going to go buy some dry shampoo right now.

Teaching Treasures

2009-10-09T13:29:00.002-05:00

I am 2 class periods away from being a teacher for three full weeks (plus some change.) WHOA!!! I am not sure it is exactly what i expected, but i SWEAR i wasn't like most of these kids in high school. Of course, I do teach 6 classes of regular chemistry not the preAP or AP kids which i think would more closely represent my own experience. I have a few classes that i really like and of course i have a few that i have major problems with. I won't go into the bad details...

Today we are doing a lab with dry ice and it has been a bit crazy. During first period we couldn't get the experiment to work (put dry ice in a pipette and clamp the opening shut, as the ice sublimes the pressure increases and we get to the triple point and then POW, if you don't let go the pipette bursts.) then for second period i shanghaied some huge pipettes from the AP teacher...that worked of course, but they blew up all my pipettes even when i told them to release the pressure before it popped. well, the last two periods we seemed to have managed to get it to work with the small ones. It is kind of neat to see the kids get excited when they see the liquid CO2 and then POW-water flies in their face and they are soaking wet. So, that has been fun. If it weren't for the kids who always goof around i think we would do a lab every week.

In my second period class i have this boy who hits on me everyday. "Ms Haines, will you go to homecoming with me?" "You're hot! do you have a boyfriend? oh, well you will change your mind when you hear me play the guitar." Well, today we had a little extra time at the end of class so i let him play his guitar. He sang to me as he played, "Ms Haines.......Chemistry.....She is so beautiful...." It is so hard not to laugh my face off when he does things like that.

The first few weeks were hard, because i really had to be strict with the kids to get them to behave, but i think they are getting into the routine and we are starting to have a little fun...it is definitely getting better and less stressful.

ps i also have a colleague admirer too...he brought me cookies the other day. Don't worry though, J-Fizz is still my man:)

Ode to Pumpkins

2009-09-11T16:52:00.008-05:00

I haven't posted kitty pictures in a really long time. They all are of phineas because he is much more photogenic than reuben. I think it is because he has the white patches of fur to set off the grey, whereas reuben is just a solid indistinguishable grey form (but very very cute.) To make up for the lack of reuby-booby pictures let me just tell you how adorable he is. every morning as soon as my alarm goes off he starts crying for me "meow, meow, meow" and doesn't stop until i say to him "come here, dear." At this point he jumps on the bed and rubs his face against mine. What a wonderful way to wake up.

I call this one "yoga phinny." I left my mat out and when i came back in the room phineas was in child's pose on the mat.

In case you couldn't tell Reuben is on the left and phineas is the one with his eyes closed. They love to cuddle and look out the window.

"Phin in a Bin" Honestly, what is with cat's obsession with confined spaces? I recently found Phineas in the highest cabinet in the kitchen...with the door closed. I don't even know how he got up there, let alone in there.

I was painting my chairs and Phineas watched me the entire time...until he fell asleep.

Ava (age 2) said to me, "I like yours kitties." "Thanks, I like your kitty too." "NO!" Why can't I like your kitty?" "Because she's fat."

Go Fightin' Sandcrabs!!!!

2009-09-11T15:01:00.002-05:00

Five months later and it finally happened. I am soon to be an employed member of society again. I got a teaching position at Calhoun High School, home of the sandcrabs, teaching five chemistry classes. I will likely start work on Tuesday after I fill out all of that paperwork business. I am so excited, a little nervous, but mostly excited. And just think-I might get to chaperon prom...

Now i need some teacher clothes.

ps those of you who know my password to things like this, feel free to change my layout, i am getting sick of it and i want something more interesting

"Tender"

2009-07-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

So, here are the pictures of Julian and I in Houston:

I look a little stoned in this one. Please keep in mind it was seventeen hundred degrees...celcius

At least my mommy loves me.

Houston, we have a problem

2009-06-30T16:46:00.000-05:00

Once again my primary motivation for posting is the fact that i am slipping in allison's blog roll:

Yesterday, Julian and I drove up to Houston to the NASA space center. Umm, it is out of this world (forgive the pun.) Although it seems to be more geared toward children than adults, it was still pretty amazing. There were rocket engines, space station modules, and even a shuttle landing simulation (Julian crashed the shuttle.) I think the coolest part was the gigantic warehouse that holds parts of the Apollo rockets. Since you can get right up next to it you can really see how big those things are and the vast amount of engineering that goes into them...quite impressive really. All in all, it was a fantastic day and when i got home my kitties were very happy to see me.

ps Julian and I finally took a picture together. It is one of those "hold the camera out and smile in a way that makes my mommy proud" pictures, but still... I will post it later

...I only said it would be worth it

2009-05-28T14:27:00.000-05:00

Last Monday the Bishop's wife called me and asked me for a "huge favor." She told me about an inactive lady in our ward who had a sister who was dying of cancer. The family needed someone to stay the night with her to help her with anything that she might need. I said that I would be willing to help. Sister Monney told me a little about the circumstances of the family and the condition of the house, so I was slightly prepared for my experience but it turned out to be much different.

Suzie (the woman with cancer) was almost completely bed ridden and because of her size needed me to pull her out of bed to go the bathroom and even lift her legs up to put them back in. The cancer had made her so weak that getting out of bed to go to the bathroom took everything out of her and it took her about twenty minutes to catch her breath again. She lived in a trailer that was completely infested with cockroaches. They were climbing everywhere. On the walls, the floor...the bed. I would lay in the other bed in the room with her and wrap myself in the blanket, praying that the roaches wouldn't crawl on me and wishing someone was there with me to hold me. Just as I would start to fall asleep she would call for me to help her out of bed, wipe her, help her back into bed, and hold her hand as she prayed, "Dear Lord Jesus Christ, help me." By the time morning came tears were flooding my eyes, whether it was with pity or exhaustion I am not sure.

On Saturday at Cumorah's baptism Sister Monney told me that she had been by to see Suzie that morning and she had told her how much she loved me. I knew i needed to go see her. That afternoon I took some of the flowers that J* gave me for my birthday and my violin over to see her. In the days that had passed her condition had deteriorated considerably, her speech was slow and slurred and her eyes were blurry. I took out my violin and played for her. I have never played like that before. I really don't think that it was me playing. When I left I gave her a hug and she held my face in her hands and stroked my hair and said over and over, "you are my beautiful angel."

Sister Monney called me Monday morning and told me that Suzie had died Sunday morning. This has been the most humbling experience of my life. I am so grateful for my health, my family and mostly that I was able to share something with Suzie before she died. Really, every single dollar for lessons, every single minute of practice- it was all worth it for this, if nothing else.

It has been about a year now...

2009-05-09T12:30:00.000-05:00

...and it feels great! I love Texas and I don't want to leave any time soon.

I recognize that I haven't posted in forever and I apologize. It is sad that what made me want to post was seeing my name slip to the bottom of Allison's blog list, but whatever it takes...

Things are good. I have decided to become a teacher (hopefully). Even though I love chemical engineering and I loved being one, during school I always thought it would be an amazing thing to be a teacher and maybe this is my opportunity to do that for myself. I think I will eventually go back to chemical engineering, but this seems like a good adventure. Plus, then I can stay in Victoria...

Yep, I have reason to stay in V-town :)

PS I have recently decided that I need to attend the Kentucky Derby before I die. And I do believe many of you need to come with me...with the hats and dresses, too.

Lately-

2009-02-09T10:23:00.000-06:00

I think I might start with the Inauguration of Obama... Honestly, I could care less. I didn't watch the speech or any part of the parade, and especially not the first dance at the Ball. I was in a meeting during the whole thing and yes, I read the address online so don't think I am un-American. I just don't care anymore, plus it is too late to offer any commentary on the address at this point in the game. However I will mention that I am annoyed and even gravely concerned with the celebrity that Obama has achieved. He is the president of the USA, not Hugh Jackman. Keep in mind he hasn't done anything yet. But this picture from the Inauguration really made me laugh. Can you guess why?

Here is a tid-bit of info that might be surprising to some of you (considering my father often refers to me as a Bolshevik): I voted for John McCain, and what is more, I voted for Ron Paul. Wrap your mind around that one, but yes it is true. Good ol' RP is my representative and he ran unopposed and I am just not one of those people.

J-Bell: Andrea mentioned the famous "happy noise" in conjunction with my previous post about Joshua Bell. I of course made that noise (again, very hard to describe unless you have heard a velociraptor recently), but it came at a very unexpected time. I was in the office of some of my co-workers talking about the Joshy and they were trying to convince me that some fiddler on you-tube was better. I made them watch some concert and the moment he walked out on the stage with the conductor, "ARAAGGHHAAAUUU!" Russell nearly fell out of his chair. It felt really good to have such a huge release of excitement, I am pretty sure I haven't 'happy noised' in at least 10 months. Anyway, the concert was beyond amazing. I have never heard anything as beautiful in my entire life and that fingered harmonics section was impeccable.

The job: let's say it like it is. This whole situation really sucks and there are a lot of unanswered questions that run through my mind constantly. I really thought that I would stay my whole career with Dow, obviously that is not the case anymore, but I still believe I was suppose to work here. This is my last week at work and even though I become more disenchanted with Dow everyday, I weep just thinking about leaving the people here. I am dreading saying those goodbye words at the safety meeting on Thursday.

My little dears: They are cuter than ever, especially now that Phineas' chlamydia infection has cleared up. I really love the mornings that I am home and I get to watch them play and wrestle. They have figured out that a really good "uncle" move is to bite your opponent between the legs. Boys will be boys. Over the last two days Phineas has destroyed two rolls of paper towels and swats at Reuben when he tries to get in on the fun. But when it is time to settle down they both love their mommy time that is full of cuddles and kisses.

Baby white tigers: I saw an alligator at the park yesterday and it made me feel like I am more of a baby jaguar kind of person. I think it might have been when the alligator was going for the snake but dropped it mid-meal. I don't know, I am still undecided. Actually, I think I am just insecure playing limbo at rollerskating rinks. Unless of course Sterling is there doing the Baby White Tiger.

Church: I love my callings, to the MAX!!! I love doing singing time. Those kids have the most beautiful voices I have ever heard. I will really miss them. Yesterday at church was pretty special. First, during sacrament Stormy grabs my shoe and takes a huge whiff of it. "Stormy, what the heck?" "What? it doesn't smell bad. But, let me tell you, don't smell Cumorah's! She barfed on hers on Friday." Then before sunday school I went out to my car to get my scriptures and it was a bit windy. My skirt definitely flew all the way up. It reminded me of the wonderful time in SLC with Sterling, except I wasn't as in tune with the spirit:) What a good sunday!

When through the deep waters I call thee to go-

2009-02-03T10:54:00.000-06:00

Last year about this time I got a grant for my research from BYU and a job offer from DOW on the same day. Exactly one year from that day I am in a situation I never expected to be in, but because of the the many blessings that I have been given in my life I know that Heavenly Father will provide a way for me.

Fear not, I am with thee,

oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

All I have to do is dream-

2009-01-27T15:05:00.000-06:00

Only three more sleeps! I can hardly stand it.

Disturbia

2008-12-10T11:56:00.001-06:00

First I have to talk about my little kitties and their sleeping habits and then I will tell you about the crazy dream I had last night.

My cats always always always sleep with me, which is one of my favorite things about them. The other morning I woke up and Reuben was resting next to my body in my arm and Phineas was on the pillow by my head with his own head pressed against my face and his paw on my cheek. I almost died of happiness and again asked myself why I ever even get out of my bed. Then, last night both of them were on the pillow next to me. Reuben was the right next to me and Phinny next to him. I would alternate between petting them, but apparently Phineas got jealous of Reuben and he climbed right on top of him. The crazy thing was that Reuben let him stay there and the two of them just purred and purred until I fell asleep. I love my kitties!

Okay, now for the dream. There was a pregnant lady, who happened to be Addison Shepard, in an office building. She suddenly collapsed and it was determined that the only way to get the baby out was to do this radical procedure where they amputated her body at the chest and also amputated her arms, then took the twin babies out of her womb. While they were doing the surgery there was this creepy anesthesiologist who kept coming into the OR and putting a baggy under her body to catch the dripping blood for the surgery that he was in. Okay, that is totally SICK. Once the babies had been delivered and the mom had recovered, the doctor discovered that the babies were born with a full set of teeth except they all looked like molars so the doctor started to file them down. The thing was we never saw the face of the doctor until he comes to the mom (remember she is just a chest and head) to tell her that her babies are half dinosaur. When we see his face we see that he has the same bazaar teeth-dun dun DUN!!!!!

ps I just found out that Elder Wirthlin died...I hate Texas!

Another one bites the dust

2008-12-10T11:28:00.000-06:00

"Oh, it didn't work out." I have often thought about that phrase and how odd it is. It really only works out if a couple gets married in the end, right? Maybe? You guessed it, yesterday I got the big "I think you are beautiful and I am attracted to you, but I just don't see this going much further." The truth is I was fighting off similar feelings, but put them away as just anxiety of going into another relationship, but it still hurts to be dumped. After a good cry, I realized that although 'it' may not have 'worked out' in the normal sense I think that this is how things are suppose to work, and so yes, it did work out and here is why:

I had a good time with him
I am still me. I didn't lose any part of me in this, and most importantly he didn't take any part of who I am, if anything he lifted me up
He made me feel beautiful (and told me I was) without making me feel like that is all I was or that is all he wanted from me
He was respectful of my requests and communicated openly about them
He actually broke up with me
...he loved my cats:)

So, yeah it worked out, because this time I will be okay...I am okay.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, Spring...

2008-12-05T14:15:00.000-06:00

On April 28, 2006 my life changed. I haven't felt like a performer has deserved a standing ovation since that day (keep in mind at BYU the standing O is given to everyone) Well, here is the exciting news: I get to experience that exhilaration of be thrust to one's feet by the emotions that come from music alone with out knowning what is happening at the end of a piece all over again, like the thrill of a first kiss. Yes,Joshua Bell is coming to Houston in January and I just bought tickets. I can hardly contain myself, literally.

An Attitude of Gratitude...yes, yes, yes!

2008-11-30T19:25:00.000-06:00

This post is late for the normal Thanksgiving-type post, but I don't really care because I can be grateful whenev, right? RIGHT! So, the first thing i am thankful for are lists. They make organizing so much easier and blogging, therefore the rest of this post will be a list of other things i am grateful for.

*Family. obvi, but still, my family is pretty much the best and i haven't laughed as hard as i have this weekend for a long time

*Kitties. I just realized that "the blog" doesn't even know about Reuben even though i have had him since august. But since i talk to pretty much all of you on a regular basis you know about my two dears that make me happier than almost anything else.

*Friends. I love the way Melanie always follows through on our ridiculous antics and encourages me to be the person she knows i am and how Allison has the perfect quote or scripture to lift my spirits. It amazes me that Sterling manages to call me just at the right time, when I feel like I can't take another step alone and how it feels like Andrea is holding my hand from 1500 miles away.

*The Gospel. I couldn't make it without my testimony.

*Plastic. Not only does plastic make life much more convenient, it also pays my salary and in these troubling times i am grateful for a good job that i enjoy.

*Carpools. my carpool ROCKS! it saves me a ton of money, miles on my car, and the company has been a blessing in my life. I just remembered one of my favorite things that Brian has said. This summer we were walking outside together at the plant and I said, "Holy cow, it is freaking hot today!" His response, "Close your eyes and it won't seem so hot."

*Nevada. Home is where your mommy is, also the mountains...

*Texas. yep, i said it. there are things that i do like...I'm having a hard time thinking of them right now, but they do exist-mostly the people that i have met, though. All i know is that i am supposed to be there and that is good enough for me.

*satellite radio *cardigans *really great sales *lotion *babies *tights *catnip *the litter-robot *the perfect Christmas present *books *Primary *lavender *yoga (yo-ja) *violin *byu *the Gap * airplanes *dry shampoo *mexico tipico *hugs

A Pinch...and then a Poke.

2008-11-21T13:45:00.000-06:00

Growing up in the home of a registered nurse has it's pros and cons. Pro: there always seems to be just the right medicine for your ailment in the cabinet. Con: you get desensitized to "medical talk" and it sometimes makes it's way into everyday conversation, when it REALLY shouldn't. Pro: access to home topical lidocaine. Con: flu shots. Pro: knowing basic anatomy and disease diagnostics without ever taking a class. Con: the kitchen island and overhead fluorescents easily become the family operating table. Which brings me to my point, that cold stone island is the source of many traumatizing events in the lives of my siblings and myself. From the time Rachel had to have raisins extracted from her nose with needle nose pliers (I think they call them forceps in the OR) to the howling pain of the tiniest sliver being wiggled out of my finger after I had let it fester for a week. For some strange reason I have been thinking a lot about that table-island- lately and all of those experience. Often I would wait and wait and wait after I got a splinter in my hand or foot before confessing to my mom that I needed help getting it out, even though I knew it would feel much better. In the mean time the surrounding area would swell, bleed, and extrude pus until finally I admit I needed help (not always voluntarily -"easy way or hard way?") and succumb to the tweezers, needles, alcohol and other medical things that I was too afraid to look at.

I think that the until about a month ago I have had a gigantic sliver in my heart that has stung, ached and bled. I wanted the wound it made upon entry to heal, I prayed to have it heal…it tried to heal, but it couldn't because the sliver was still there. Then a month ago I got that D email and I couldn't take it any more. I just couldn't hurt anymore and I let the sliver come out. It felt like I crawled up on the island (I think I took the "hard way," though) and through the Atonement my heart was literally changed. I won't say that there is no longer an open wound, because there most definitely is, but now it can heal the way it was suppose to six months ago.

PS I am not saying a little Neosporin ever hurt anything, either:)
PPS Plus, I can safely listen to 80's music again-dance party, anyone?

It only comes but twice a year...

2008-09-27T12:02:00.000-05:00

New York Fashion Week, that is. And this year was no exception to the normal excitement, celebrity buzz, and fabulous clothes. Here is a little taste of what I loved and a little of what I could have lived without.

For years my favorite designer has been Oscar de la Renta and for good reason. Year after year, season after season he turns out amazing collections that seem to capture the complete essence of what I want to look like when I grow up, or at lest dress up. This season was no exception and I give the best collection award to him.

Now, if you will fondly remember last season's Carolina Herrera collection (Fall 2008,) it was nothing short of amazing, but the extremely long feathers in riding caps really through me off. Luckily this season she not only had an delicious collection, but the most georgeous hair I have ever seen in recent years on the runway. Seriously, everday since I watched the show I have worn my hair in some modification of what was seen on her runway. Simply feminine and delightful.

Normally I love the simplicity of the Calvin Klein Collection. This spring something went terribly wrong. He was true to his colors, literally. For the spring collection he usually goes with a nude/neutral pallet which is beautiful, but the simplicity that normally makes the CK collection so beautiful and true to the feminine form was lost in bizaar geometric forms like this one:
WTCK?

I was going to comment on my favorite makeup and such, but I can't really decide, so I will tell a story instead. Gather round children. Far, far away in the great state of Texas nobody ever wears brown mascara and therefore it is nearly impossible to purchase in the store. A young lady, by the name of Emilee was absolutely heartbroken when she could not hunt down a tube of Maybelline Full and Soft mascara in brown, so she settled for brown black...what a horrible mistake! The mascara was clumpy, dry, and irritated her sensitive eyes day after day (not to mention the shade did nothing for her baby blues) until she had finally had enough. Emilee decided that she would try a new mascara: Cover Girl Exact Lash. The verdict- LOVE,LOVE, LOVE!!!! She was in love<3> But what I really want is the new Givenchy mascara, I have been eyeing it for months.

Confession...

2008-09-25T15:26:00.000-05:00

I just figured out what "Y2K" stands for. Enlightening, really.

La Vida es Sueno

2008-09-08T14:53:00.000-05:00

I had a dream the other night that was more poignant than most of my dreams of late:
It was the right after graduation in the Marriott center and all of us were rushing out to find our families and proceeding up the spiral ramps and over to the ASB parking lot. Everybody looked the same in their black gowns and caps, smiling because of their accomplishments and although I was with Melanie and Sterling I was frantic. You see this was also the night I was getting married and we were in a huge hurry to get to the temple to take pictures, get married and have the reception. So, the three of us were pushing the crowd. I was wearing a wedding dress and holding a bouquet of wilted lilies (I hate lilies.) When we finally made it to the temple and found my family (there were several other wedding parties) we all started taking pictures. The only problem was He wasn't there and everybody kept asking me when he was going to get there, because not even His family knew. Every time I had to explain that He would be there right before the ceremony it killed me inside and the tears started to form in my tear ducts. It killed me because I had to make excuses for him yet again and it killed me because he didn't care about the things that were important to me, like the pictures with family and friends. I decided that I wanted to take pictures anyway, so I took them with my family and with my friends while everybody ate what was described to me as the "variety pack" of pizza, which had all the norms plus weird combos like pepperoni with hard-top chocolate sauce. While we were taking pictures another party was setting up their reception (somehow we weren't actually at the temple anymore) and they had the most amazing decorations in the world and the bride had exactly the dress I wanted. I had exactly the dress I don't want and when my mom saw me eyeing their décor she told me I had some "3-D" decorations at my reception which were actually just dress forms wearing Victorian dresses. We continue to wait for Him and I continue to make excuses for why He isn't there yet.
…and then I wake up - crying.

My $700 shower curtain

2008-07-26T13:01:00.000-05:00

some people cut their hair, some people buy new clothes, others join a gym, or frequent the bar. I finally cut my hair-figuratively. i bought a kitten, and that was like buying a shower curtain only he cuddles with me. oh, the little dear!

ps it is impossible to find a chic magazine holder in victoria, tx

"my friend and yours, BRIAN FRIEDMAN"

2008-07-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

"Tell me about a time that you showed initiative."
... For a year and a half i have owned the brian friedman instructional dance video, "freestyle," and for a year and a half when we watch the beginning and the announcer mentions all of the artists that brian has worked with, including brittney spears, n'sync, hillary duff, mya, ashanti, we launch a five minute discussion about the mention of jewel and how an artist like jewel could possibly need a choreographer. well, of course my trip to utah this last week included reminiscing about 'the good old times' (ie andrea and spending 3 hrs trying to learn overprotected and only getting 3 counts into it-um, it is booty hard) and of course wondering what on earth brian choreographed for jewel. i pledged to my dear friends that i would find out, once and for all. this is what i have discovered:
"Friedman has also appeared on shows such as VH1 Divas Live 2003 with Beyoncé, Jewel, Ashanti, and Queen Latifah" This launched my search and i found the following video of beyonce and jewel. please note that even brian friedman can't teach jewel to dance and beyonce is in fact who i aspire to be in my secret life-

also, i found this video of a rehearsal for the event (you can hear brian giving cues in the background) although i couldn't find the performance:

...and to think, i failed a personality test because i only showed as much initiative as my classmates.
ps this won't be the last brian friedman post. as i become myself again, i am coming to love him again-it is part of me

Big Cat Diary #1

2008-07-09T17:57:00.000-05:00

how many times did andrea and i hold each other on the couch and cry our faces off watching some documentary about baby white tigers or jaguars? approx. 1 million. here is the best one of all. I could get into the true meaning of friendship and love and that sort of stuff, because i have a lot of thoughts on that, but just watch this- andrea and melanie, you will cry. allison, i already know what you will say, "tender."

*there is a longer version (over an hour long) if you want to watch that too:) just search for christian the lion

control freak

2008-07-09T17:32:00.000-05:00

i have done a lot of self reflection lately and one of the things that i have been thinking about is fear, and more specifically the thing that ties all of my fears together. guess what it is...i said guess. this may come as no surprise to those of you that know me well, but admitting it is the first step right? losing control. yes, as in missy elliott's smash hit of 2004 (coincidence? probably) let's look at my most irrational fear, for example. it is extremely unlikely that i will get attacked by a killer whale or fall into a humpback whale tank, but the fear is real. it is real because in this situation i would have absolutely no control over the outcome. so, i mitigate it by staying out of kayaks on the ocean and away from the front row of the orca show at marine world africa USA.

all this self reflection (the 2hr drive to austin, tx) made me think about all of the things that i would control if i could. these things wouldn't necessarily make the world a better place, in fact i know they wouldn't, but they would remove the spikes on the walls that seem to be closing in around me (that, i am afraid of): if i had it my way What not to Wear would only have one host for a while, on XM radio the classical station would only play russian composers and the 80's station would only play songs that concerned politics, all mid-size sedans would be of the toyota variety, it would be the end of august already, i would have never read the national geographic as a child, no body would wear white, not in cotton, silk, satin, rayon, eyelet lace and certainly not tulle, seismologists predictions for the last 50 years would actually be right-it might be easier that way, shower curtains would be something that came standard in every apartment along with a little kitty, and derek shepard's hair would be a lovely shade of blonde. if i could control these things i might not be afraid.

things that kill me about texas

2008-06-27T15:51:00.000-05:00

1. hogs*

2. roadkill*

3. i have a degree in "kimical engineering"

4. sacrament meeting is a little bit like country karaoke

5. people have rusted out process vessels in their front yards- seriously

6. i have to put on deodorant more than once a day

7. did you know that fire ant bites turn into things that look like pimples after a few hours? i do

8. BUGS!

9. chewing tobacco...someone actually offered me "a dip." can you believe that?

10. malt-o-meal's version of golden grahams has some weird sugar powder on it that makes it not quite as delicious and comforting, plus it leaves a weird aftertaste.

11. you can actually buy blonde bobby pins (this is one of those things that kills me in the best way possible)

12. church marquis: I think my favorite is at The Jesus Church that says, "TGIF: thank god i'm forgiven"

13. the complete lack of respect for conventions of the english language. yes, i don't use caps, but that is more of a statement (like e.e. cummings).

14. for the first time in my life i have to try not to swear. the operators in my unit use the most foul language (worse than melanie on the way to church, if you can believe that :D) and i am starting to think "that-a" way.

15. my hair has the most amazing amount of volume you can imagine.

16. i have no doubt that in this great state my little dear, hugh manatee, will make it to her final resting place at a demolition derby...may she rest in peace.

17. i miss my mommy

*these items can usually be combined, and we aren't talking a dead hog on the side of the road, it is more like a dead hog for 20 feet on the side of the road.

EMO ALERT

2008-06-24T14:08:00.000-05:00

a few years ago a friend of mine, brett bardsley, said something that has really impacted the last month and a half of my life. he said, "i couldn't make it through a day without my friends and i couldn't make it through an hour without my family." since leaving the safe haven of provo in may, i have never felt more scared, more broken, and more alone. but on the other hand it has taken for me to be completely alone in a strange place to realize how not alone i actually am. i have been so blessed in my life to meet and become friends with the most amazing people on earth. they have taken turns calling me, crying for hours with me, praying for me, and reminding me of the person that i used to be. i really couldn't have made it through a single day without them. plus, who else has friends that call you in the middle of the night and leave messages singing "total eclipse of the heart" for you to wake up to at 0300? pretty sure that would only be me.

then there is my family. anyone who has ever met them knows how amazing they are (and by that i mean amazingly hilarious, except nicholas.) brett was right when he said that he couldn't make it through an hour without family. I really couldn't. I just hope they will have mercy on me at the next family vote to see who is the funniest, considering my current circumstances, i fear i might not maintain my current reign on top spot...rachel has been ridiculously funny as of late.

a tribute to better times

2008-06-24T14:04:00.000-05:00

main()
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printf ("Hello World!\n");
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I want you to judge me...that, i can deal with.